Open Strategist: December 2015

Brief Notes on the HEC Paris MBA experience

Here’s a didactic little parable you’ve probably heard before –

There was once a powerful king who ruled many parts of the world. One day, shocked to discover that his wife had been unfaithful to him, he has her executed. In his bitterness and grief he decides that all women are the same. Thus, he begins to marry a succession of virgins only to execute each one the next morning, before they have a chance to dishonor him. Eventually the servant, whose duty is to provide the women gets down on his knees and says – “my king…we’ve run out of virgins”. To which the king replies – “well…that’s not true, I believe that you have two daughters.”

The servant begs the king for his mercy and says – “my king, please don’t do this to me; have you forgotten all the years of service I’ve done for you…” But to no avail, the king forces the servant to offer him the daughters.

One of the servant’s daughters was very brave. So in a very Game of Thrones – Khaleesi type of fashion, she says – “don’t worry father, I can handle this…” On the night of their marriage, she begins to tell the king a tale, but does not end it. The king, curious about how the story ends, is thus forced to postpone her execution in order to hear the conclusion. The next night, as soon as she finishes the tale, she begins (and only begins) a new one, and the king, eager to hear the conclusion, postpones her execution once again. So it goes on for 1,001 nights[1].

Now neither I’m not here to tell you that I’m very clever like the daughter, nor am I here to give you tips on how to escape death. I’m here to remind you of this moralistic parable, because it communicates a very powerful message, that a story can save a life thousands of times. The MBA program was my chance to tell stories with the same niftiness as the girl did. Some day, if I find myself at a low point of life, and feel that all the things in my life are frustrating and my luck is absolutely the worst amongst everyone – I can look back and remember my ~500 nights in the program. Here are some notes I took along the way.

On admissions: It was April 2014, and when I opened my inbox that morning, I could feel my forehead wrinkle with psychological pain. The top message in my color-coded mailbox was another rejection from my first choice of b-schools[2]. The message was long, and like most generic responses, was designed to deceive me into believing that the person on the other side actually empathized about my personal defeats. After reading it, I asked myself the question – “I’ll have to do this all over again next year?”

Like most b-school applicants, I had spent an incalculable number of hours crafting essays, convincing recommendation providers, taking atrocious tests[3], so on and so forth. And in that moment, the last thing I desired to do was to reiterate the process.

With the same thought in mind, I spent the next weekend searching for schools that still had an application round open – which finally led me to the HEC application page. Atypical to other schools, HEC featured a candidate profile page – which quintessentially worked as a pre-assessment tool[4]. Considering there wasn’t much time left, I decided to proceed directly with the full application instead[5].

The essays were for the most part similar to other applications I had already completed, so I proceeded in the same fashion most MBA applicants do – I copied a draft of my previous essays for other B-schools, and rearranged them to fit the HEC essay boxes. It took less than the weekend to do my research[6] and to push that button which displayed - “Submit”[7]. The action mostly left me with a false sense of satisfaction[8] and fatigue liberation that many desire everyday. And of course, in the back of my head, I could hear a voice spit out banal platitudes such as – “if you never apply, you never know”…etc.

As I write this essay[9] sixteen months later, I’ve come to realize that sometimes, banal platitudes can have a life changing impact on what you become, and that it was merely a banal platitude that brought me a step closer to obtaining the second most expensive piece of paper of my life[10].

On arrivals: I arrived at the front doors of campus like everyone else, with just two bags full of personal belongings from Canada[11]. I proceeded with the check-in process[12] and subsequently moved my belongings to the on-campus residence located on the august grounds. It took just under an hour to get to campus from the Paris airport, following which I rushed to get a few things[13] from the closest store that was conveniently[14] located a few steps away from the front doors[15].

The first two weeks were engaging and analogous to a game of tennis. The only difference was that first you watched the pros play the sport (players being the faculty), and then the pros watched you play and enjoy the same sports in a mildly sadistic fashion.

The opening ceremonies, or in B-school parlance, kickoff presentations were educational and led me to infer that faculty members have somewhat of sense of humor[16].

The induction period also established grounds for one of the many axiomatic principles of life as a b-school student – that ‘your schedule controls you; you don’t control it’, which turns out to be one of the clichés with some truth to it[17]. I showed up everyday, at nine on the dot, for a schedule of puzzling but impressive activities. The agenda varied from coaching on professional speaking, MBTI personality-type identification[18], negotiation games[19], introductory math workshops, improv comedy[20] sessions, and meetings with career advisors to things that simulated team building[21]. Tagged along with all this - I got a plethora of b-school jargon thrown at me. The phrases were so oxygen depriving that they only reminded me of the greetings that flight staff members usually give before a plan takes off[22].

The phrases included catchphrases such as – end-to-end GTM strategy frameworks, paradigm changes, global strategic transversal initiatives, cross platform synergies (or Unicorns as I prefer to call them), batch mates[23] etc.

At the end of the two weeks, I found myself tried on levels of extroversion and basic math, subsequent to which I got permission to take on the actual coursework[24], which mostly reminded of the statement Bain made to Batman – ‘ahh yes, now you have permission to die…”

The upside of having a defined schedule is that you don’t have to do a lot of thinking, or prep for that matter, which leaves room for socializing and exploration of the inner self. Some fellow Blues[25] decided to set up a tradition of dressing up well on Tuesdays – sort of an anti casual-Friday movement[26].

On campus food options: Unlike most North American universities, which include plenty of 24x7 options to eat - the HEC campus leaves you disempowered with only three. First, the café in the MBA building itself, which, if you somehow manage to make it to campus 20 minutes before class, will make you appreciate that the person who serves you your caffeine shot for the long day ahead is a diabolical deus-ex-machina.

Second, the actual restaurant/cafeteria, which opens three times a day, for all students on campus, serves hot food options at a cheap price. The food served is axiomatic part of living life as a French student –‘it’s good for the price you pay for it’. The third option is called K-fet, and is essentially the grande ecole[27] version of the cafeteria at the MBA building.

An overarching theme that resonates through discussion with many is that the food doesn’t always taste good[28] and the hours are not convenient. And of course the same exhausting ideas surface every year – “they should keep the food options open all the time; they should get food trucks; they should get better tasting food”[29]. All in, I don’t think the food options are too bad.

On P-bar: The MBA student council[30] run bar is typically jammed with students who are there to enjoy a beverage (typically of alcoholic type) for a cheap price. It’s a convenient location where students take the opportunity to discuss the same prosaic topic that is the misery of most b-school student lives – jobs, careers, internships, etc. The topic only leaves you with a feeling of ambivalence on whether you should be annoyed or comforted at the same time.

The council runs the entire operation, which includes sourcing, assortment planning, distribution, and music[31]. One of the upsides of coming to this operation is that the beer is cheap at just one euro per beer. On the flipside however, the venue gets repetitive very quickly as a function of the self-induced discussion points as always. Even though the council makes efforts to keep students entertained, the tedium of seeing the same people all day for classes, group-work, clubs, meetings, more meetings wears every one out, and the attendance drops a few weeks into the term. Nonetheless, the council cash box doesn’t run dry because the Grande Ecole make their way to the parties and add their version of merry-making to it[32]. There are MBA peers who never make it to these weekly reunions for reasons I’ll never know. To each their own.

On communication tools: I don’t consider my self to be a tech guru, but I do possess the ability to digest the constant stream of content most ‘millennials’ seem to be generating in our world of content overload. As the MBA unfolded, I found myself in the inevitable position of having being invited to a Skype interview. Regardless of all its merits, video conferencing is still not my preferred choice of discussion, especially when you – the beholder – so much at stake[33]. And it doesn’t help that Murpyh’s law finds it way in most situations that you don’t want to reach[34]. The only thing of interest to say here is that – be cognizant of these problem, and hope that nothing goes wrong.

On French standards: Integration weekend sets the standards low for many students from week three onwards. But in a way, it sets the expectations to many European lifestyle standards[35] that most students from foreign countries are not exposed to. Let’s just say that – ‘if you want to be the beneficiary of the French social system, you can’t get the speed and execution of the capitalist American system.’ You can’t have it all.

On Core classes: Regardless of me being a little disappointed about not being able to waive some of these core classes, I walked in with an open mind and learned many things from the perspectives of others in the classroom[36]. This made me realize that the professor is mostly there to guide the discussion – and you’re the one who’s doing the talking. Thus, the repetition ended up being an exercise in ‘learning to unlearn’[37], which I believe that most leaders need to exercise. I always showed up, unless there was a valid reason. The amount of effort I put into the academic work was fairly little – but that’s because I didn’t prioritize it, and believed that other things outside the academic work more important from a personal growth standpoint[38]. I do believe that the core structure is important and classes such as finance, statistics[39] and accounting are important for everyone[40]. It’s more than once that I’ve heard someone say –“I’m not interested in finance, or statistics[41], I’ll hire someone to do it for me…” My response to such statements is that the true value of taking this core-work is to understand the basic language of business and set a level playing field. It’s also an exercise in getting out of your comfort zone, and perhaps appreciating that it’s not how to think, but the choice of what to think about that matters. I remember very little about much of the coursework I did in class, but I remember the points that I brought up[42], which is why I wish that more people participated.

The motivation level for everyone is at its peak in core classes, and you can see all the ‘hand-raises’. Although as will be self-evident to most readers – the motivation goes down, perhaps as a function of intellectual fatigue or the perpetual multi-tasking that everyone is doing.

On learning French: I remember the test I had to take to be placed in French class, the conversation went something like this – “Hi...how are you? Are you ready for lk;jzpouf and paoijfjkadf…?” OK I said. “Good, we shall begin?” And so on it went.

Eventually, the assessment professional spit out the following conclusion with vitriol – “How come you always..lkjwtoigj…I can’t believe Alliance Francaise approved you to level B1? Even a ljklksjsfah knows that a typrewriter is feminine.” And that was mostly how French class progressed for the core terms.

As the French lessons ended, I realized that I was familiar with all the vituperations that the prof used to spit out at me – and cherished the memories that I actually understood them. My response to all of it was – “Talk me more, please, plus more, plus.”

On fieldwork projects/internships: A function of French legacy schooling system – the fieldwork project is a confusing concept that never really makes sense until it does. Simply put, it can be summarized in a brief statement - All internships can be converted into fieldwork projects, but not all fieldwork projects are internships[43].

I didn’t get to participate in the electives, but anecdotal evidence states that they were fairly interesting, and the satisfaction was high[44]. I suppose fell into the trap of doing an internship – which many think is significantly better, but I believe that all three options have their merits. Anyone making an assessment on what two do in term three should carefully assess the pros and cons of their decisions.

On St. Cyr: The two-day trip to St. Cyr is definitely a memory that many will never forget. Waking up at the crack of dawn[45] is not the most fun part of the experience. The first day is a test of leadership, team, and moral courage. Without giving too much away, students accompany a ex-military person with a group of 10-12 MBA peers on activities that range from constructing bridges with planks to rescuing dummy’s from ditches. The second day is a test of physical courage i.e. it is comprised of trying to jump/crawl/boost others over walls, cables etc. Everyone gets to be the leader and the follower. The whole experience was probably the best simulation of teamwork that I had the chance to participate in, and I hope to do it again in the near future.

On MBAT: Another one of the ‘best experiences’ of the MBA program[46] the MBAT Tournament or MBAT is a giant ~~party~~ sporting event that occurs over three days. It includes sports such as Tennis[47], Cricket[48], cross country, basketball and some non-traditional ‘sports’ such as foosball, dodge ball, beer-pong[49], etc. What probably is underappreciated about the event is that HEC is the only school that holds something of this scale, and the amount of time and effort that is put into making it work is tremendous.

Many argue that it’s mostly about bringing other schools together for a grand event; there are others who maintain that it’s a commercial affair[50] and helps build the brand of the school. For me it was mostly about carrying around a go-pro and taking footage of people playing some sports and others having fun, and asking absurd questions such as – “how many springs in a basketball”[51]. Although there are some things I wish we didn’t do[52] as hosts of this event, it’s an event that is worth coming back to campus for.

On Clubs: Clubs provide a platform for students who want to take ownership of activities for career related (or non career related) group of like-minded students. I had researched the MBA clubs page before coming to campus and had familiarized myself with the concept of career treks. After a few brief discussions with some club members, I realized that it was something that I wanted to work on. Although if it actually helps to be in a leadership position of club for networking or not is a question of great debate. I didn’t run a club nor was I ever in power as ‘VP or Director of xx’ for any club[53] – I still managed to make a difference to the Energy Club on campus, which was aligned with my personal career interests. My version of the truth leads me to believe that – if you have anything you’d like to execute, and that doesn’t require the club to front a lot of money from it’s spartan budget, then it’s not going to be a problem. In my case, I really just wanted to work on an Energy (& Finance) trek to Scandinavia – which I ended up running anyways.

Scandinavia trek: Since my personal interests were aligned towards energy markets, I drafted an email and sent it out to a few firms to test the waters. The hit rate was overwhelmingly pleasing. Now was this something that I properly thought through or not – I can’t say. I never really used an existing contact list, or any guidance from others on how to approach this. Turns out, this was one of the better activities the energy club eventually led. Although after several discussions with those who led treks to other parts of the world revealed the one thing that set the energy trek apart – ‘I executed without much approval’.

On specialization: Since I came from a business background[54], and was obligated to always be put in a box i.e. follow the required curriculum that was assigned in Core and obligated to complete the required curriculum that was assigned in Specialization, the only feeling of ire that I have is from the fact that I never got to choose any of the curriculum I ‘wanted’ to study. Unlike may other schools that have two-year program that let you just do electives for the entire senior year, HEC doesn’t have that option. However I think both formats have pros and cons[55].

On Competitions: Since I do most of my learning when the stakes are high - I participated in four competitions. The first was in November; with a preliminary round in October i.e. I was working on it within the first two months of coming to the MBA. Which essentially meant that instead of enjoying a weekend in Paris – I worked through the weekend with a group of fellow students to work on a deck which included terms such as P/E, EV, EBITDA, buybacks and so forth. This experience is one of the few things I remember the most from the entire term, for what it taught me about teamwork, technical skills – and the importance of design in slides. It also taught me that people, who are good in finance, could also be very skilled in design[56].

The next one was in NYC with a group of people that I didn’t work with because they were from a different intake. The Odyssey games[57] provided for an opportunity to fly to NYC and go head to head with top b-schools from across the globe[58] with a group of fellow HEC MBA candidates[59]. The competition was divided into four segments covering Sales, Marketing, finance & entrepreneurial pitch[60]. We finished 8^th out of 16 in the games – which for me was an achievement[61]. The sales and marketing segment was actually the most interesting for me. LVMH wanted students[62] to come up with pitch a new product called ‘iced champagne’ to target men in business[63]. The real recipe for success is being prepared and getting support from faculty - which many other schools seemed to have done a lot better than us[64].

On the European market for MBA’s: The unfortunate reality of going to Europe for an MBA is that many European countries don’t understand when, how, and why anyone would go get an MBA. Nor do they understand the many realities of students in B-school. That most people have multiple years of experience. That everyone is ambitious in his / her ways. That everyone is there to make some sort of change to his or her career. That everyone is ready for doing more than they did before. That most MBA students are self-financed. That business school is exorbitantly expensive.

It was more than once that I explained to someone what an MBA is in Europe. Consider for example the time I called someone up to sell them on my profile and fit for their group, only to be asked the question – “I don’t understand, so you did four years of internships?”[65]. Suffice to say that the best responses I received were from people who already had an MBA[66] or had some sort of connection to HEC[67].

On finding a career: There are already too many opinions out there about careers via all sorts of platforms. In summary, you will be rewarded for your efforts. People who did the work – be it networking, or hundred’s of applications online or any other form of effort were rewarded.

On the unexpected: It was Nov 12, 2015. I was sitting in a car with two close friends driving towards a small town new Jouy – about 20 mins away. We had a rendezvous with a startup called ‘Greenchannel’. The founder, who spent the past decade at ENGIE had accepted to meet us at a local French restaurant. There should have been many of us, but because of an overlap with council and club elections, there were only three students – three learners, and one giver.
But something changed the next day that I’ll never forget. There was a militant attack in Paris the next day, and one out three succumbed in one of those attacks. One of our own had fallen.
I remember what my parents always told me – you need luck…along with everything else. But in that moment, I realized that one of got unlucky that day, and that no one can cheat death.

Conclusions: The true value of the MBA is not going to come from the day we walk out the door, but in a few years[68]. Although the past sixteen months was an incredible time I’ll never repeat again, there were many things that I learned along the way, and will hopefully never forget. Take for example the things that I learned while living as a French student residence –

That French people are not familiar with the concept of screens i.e. meshes that go along windows to prevent from bugs from getting into the room.

That earplugs will not solve the problem of someone snoring and sleeping less than 20 feet away from you.

That everyone has a very different definition of hygiene.

That people will try and use Tinder in an MBA residence – and end up in awkward tinder-blasts[69].

And many other general things –

That people who are loud over the Internet can be quite in reality.

That Hispanics and Asians can be racist as well, primarily as a function of the fact that they grew up in a homogenous society. That some people will use the term FOB[70] without realizing that it’s somewhat derogatory towards others.

That very few people in the MBA actually listen to podcasts[71].

That peanut butter is not very popular in European countries[72].

That cheesy pick-up lines don’t work, but can be an adequate source of humor. That “are you a bad girl?” is equivalent to “ni huai huai” in Taiwanese and ‘Anatawa waruika’ in Japanese[73].

That someone’s nationality doesn’t always represent the person’s true identity.

That women are capable of profanity to the same extent as men.

That Parisians employ sheep as lawn mowers to keep grass in control[74].

That talking about euthanasia leaves people with mixed feelings. Take me for example – every time someone says that word, I imagine Japanese students running across an empty ground – some trying to sumo wrestle each other, some trying to make sushi better than before with a Samurai Sword. I visualize the sushi Sensei reply to the students making sushi in a stern voice – “but you must Gakusei…it must be done”. The Gakusei give it another go, and fail at making the fish slices thinner. Sensei looks at them, and shrieks “Gakusei!!!!! You have failed me !!!” Uhh…where were we?

That ADD[75] is more common than you think.

That certain people will not like you how hard you try, and you will not be able to get along with everyone. That you do not have to like a person to learn from him or her.

That no matter how smart you are – you will never be as smart as everyone. That dividing up group work will mostly lead to poor quality submissions. That being physically present in a room with your team is sometimes all that is expected. That a room can be labeled as smelling ‘man.’

That more people have Macs than PC’s. That having your computer open during a lecture distracts people around you more than it distracts you. That concentrating intensely for three hours in our existing click-hole world is hard. That even a PowerPoint presentation can hurt someone’s feelings. That some people will never get the idea of Venn diagram humor[76].

That caffeine has its limits. That vending machine food isn’t so bad when there’s nothing else[77]. That the purpose of eating is more than the food itself. That eating a meal with someone is mostly about enjoying a meal with someone else.

That when the mind is in peace with itself, any place feels like home.

That adult dorm rooms are actually an interesting concept.

That when you see someone and you remember a funny experience, you will most likely bring it every time you meet and it will never be funny for anyone else.

That having a lot of money doesn’t stop people from being frugal or helpful.

That career decisions based solely on money are usually poor, but still very difficult ones.

That it is more fun to want something than to have it. That being vulnerable is hard and takes personal courage. That helping someone anonymously is intoxicating. That rationality is hard to exercise.

That some people are perpetual loners. That loneliness is not a function of solitude. That many times, the people incessantly posting things on FB, Instagram, Facechat, ichat, gchat, mchat, snapchat, wechat etc. are actually the ones who are lonely and in real need of company[78].

That nothing in life worth having comes easy – relationships, teamwork and interviews that you actually want take work.

That spending time with people who came from very little will help you understand the relative importance of that mean comment someone wrote on FB or Twitter.

That everyone has a story that will blow you away.

That you can’t cheat death.

Another mandatory parable is in order. Let’s use the one from David Foster Wallace’s speech at Kenyon:

“Two little fish are going down their way and all of a sudden a big fish comes by and asks them – “how’s the water boys.

The fish go a little further and look at each other and say – what the hell is water?”

“A huge percentage of the stuff that I tend to be automatically certain of is, it turns out, totally wrong and deluded. Everything in my own immediate experience supports my deep belief that I am the absolute center of the universe, the realest, most vivid and important person in existence. We rarely talk about this sort of natural, basic self- centeredness, because it's so socially repulsive, but it's pretty much the same for all of us, deep down."

As this chapter of my life closes, I still have to constantly have to remind myself…
“This is water…”
“This is water…”

[1] If you haven’t figured it out yet – this plot is the basic premise of Arabian nights. Whether parts of this story are true or apocryphal is for the reader to decide. Another interesting thing of note is that – the 1,001 stories were supposedly very interesting and forms the basis of many tails such as – Aladdin, Sinbad, the forty thieves etc.

I suppose the parable would work significantly better if I went to B-school in the Middle East. Talk about Arabian nights.

[2] I got rejected from INSEAD and Dartmouth College as a round three applicant. Looking back at it, I’m glad I did, because it would have been a much less international [and expensive] experience. Better? I suppose I’ll never know that.

[3] Which was four times in my case. Although my scores were strong enough for HEC the first time I took them, they weren’t enough for the other b-schools

[4] Which I’m sure is a lifesaver for many, because it saves the applicant from the tedium of doing the whole application and never knowing why they got dinged, which raises the question – why don’t other school do this?

Most full application responses clearly state that they cannot provide feedback. Take for example the statement – “we can not provide feedback to every candidate unfortunately, since it would compromise the integrity of our selection process” – which I mostly infer as – ‘we can’t tell you because it would clearly make obvious the prejudices that exist in the application process.’

[5] I did however fill out the candidate profile page as well, subsequent to which the called me to notify that I’m one of their ‘better candidates’. I remember being caught in a dichotomous train of thought – ‘I think I’m going to get in, that was easy…or perhaps they say this to everyone’. I surmise they were interested in my profile because (A) I was based in North America; (B) I worked in finance.

[6] Which included calling some alums, screening for HEC MBA alumni profiles on LinkedIn (which a premium account made easy); looking at the post-MBA compensation in disbelief, and of course looking at rankings and realizing that HEC is in top 10 on the Economist rankings and Top 25 in the FT rankings, and realizing that the truth is somewhere in the middle; assessing the GRE Score requirements (I didn’t take the GMAT because I reasoned that my verbal was strong, which turned out to be one of the other things that I disabused myself of later)

[7] Although my two recommenders still had to be coaxed into doing the same over several phone calls. I believe it is this part of the application process is really what holds many MBA applicants from mass applying to B-schools at the same rate of all other mass applications – so it’s forced self-selection

[8] Which fortunately turned out to be fortuitous because after two rather objective interviews I was accepted into the program. Anecdotal evidence states that for some people the interviews where good cop-bad cop, but this wasn’t the case for me.

[9] Although these notes might not be close to what’s historically been meant by “essay”, I find taxonomic arguments like this dull and irrelevant. Limpidity, compactness, and an absence of verbal methane are why I like bullet points. But many successful business people e.g. Jeff Bezos detest the format, and prefer magazine style essays instead

[10] The first most being my undergraduate degree in Canada, which is still a lot cheaper than most US School education bills.

[11] I use the word ‘just’ because many others came with as many as six bags. To disabuse you of your predispositions, some of them were men

[12] On any other day of my life, I would have considered standing in a line annoying. Since many new faces that were in the same process surrounded me, it didn’t feel like a drag. I repeated the same personal story with declining levels of enthusiasm as I introduced myself dozens of times over the next few hours.

[13] The rushing part was because my quasi-dorm didn’t provide for toilet paper or a towel. This, in fact, is a standard requirement of French dorm rooms and two star hotels. Although I didn’t accompany my intake to integration weekend (which is a weekend event where everyone gets to know each other at a distant location), word surfaced that at the two star hotel, which was essentially a family style resort didn’t have towels or toilet paper or blankets or any of the comforts which are normally deemed to be part of a hotel

[14] If you talk to alums that graduated over five years ago, they will mention to you that there was no store near campus; there was only one down the hill in the city center. This opens the door to a discussion about reference points. Since my reference point is that the store next to campus exists, I want another or even nicer store i.e. the store itself is enough. But to people who were on campus a long time ago – the store next to campus is a blessing. Thus, if you want to over-deliver – setting the reference point low is essential

[15] Unlike many other prestigious campuses, the front doors unfortunately are not very interesting. The whole campus actually has no sense of Parisian in it. I felt betrayed for a few days after arrival because I was perhaps expecting gates like Hogwarts. But then again, sometimes life gives us lemons.

[16] Take for example the Dean’s good minded stab at some of the finance faculty members – “now we bring the finance profs to talk you - we forgive them for their choices; no one is perfect.”

[17] And it’s hard to disagree with the reality that one day should be off in the middle to go get a phone contract, or open a bank account and run personal errands of such nature

[18] The Myers Briggs test is one of the most popular tests in personality sorting, and has a puzzling history. I personally don’t believe that people can be bucketed in to personality types. That being said – considering I had taken the test before, my results were mostly the same – INTJ. Or perhaps it was the same conclusion because of confirmation bias. At which point – the person running the test told me that, since I’m aware of ‘confirmation bias’ it shouldn’t really be the case. And then there were rebuttals of the rebuttal. For a better account of the secret history of the test, please see: http://digg.com/2015/myers-briggs-secret-history

[19] Which exposes you to some of the zero-sum realities of business – that one way to make money is to innovate, and invest in R&D and cure cancer etc., but the other way to win is to screw other teams over by giving them the short end of the straw

[20] Many parts of improvisation humor include activities that don’t require you to do a lot of speaking, just acting. It was during this segment that I realized that some of less talkative peers from Korea and Japan have an impressive sense of humor. They just aren’t able to show it to everyone because of their lack of comfort with English, which is the only language used on campus. This experience left me convinced that the stereotype of Japanese and Korean students not being garrulous is false.

[21] For example, one activity involved a competition building paper rockets that I doubt would ever make it past an actual engineers drawing board.

[22] – “In the unlikely possibility that the air-craft should experience such an eventuality”…you meant ‘the mask will drop, if the plane runs out of air’?

[23] Although this probably is a trite digression – the frequency with which I heard the phrase ‘batch-mates’ on campus leads me to believe it is important to mention. Using batch of 20xx is a transgression because it leaves the listener with an ambiguity – did you enter school that year? Or did you graduate that year. Whereas – the usage class of 20xx makes it clear that it is the year you are graduating. Secondly, batch mostly makes me think of cookies, and as you’d expect – going around thinking about cookies can make you extremely unproductive.

[24] The coursework actually includes HBS cases but some HEC cases as well. I always wondered why other B-schools don’t churn out the same number of cases as HBS does. Now that I finally know, I think the details are too trite to discuss in these concise notes

[25] The overall color scheme at HEC is blue and white. Unsurprisingly – the cheer in French is ‘Allees les blues’.

[26] The tradition is actually called exceptionally well dressed Tuesday. At first I understood it as – some people who missed dressing up for work every day wanted to dress up, but it turned out to be a lot more than that. It was fairly entertaining to see people wear green, blue, yellow, etc. pants and suits with tails – which left many of the French faculty members more than impressed. Talk about ‘la mode Parisian.’

[27] Most MBA students use the term ‘Grande Ecole’ as a blanket phrase to describe anyone on campus who is from a non-MBA program. In reality, Grande Ecole means –‘Elite School’. A parallel to the US is the Ivies. So imagine if you were to go visit a US MBA program campus – and you find yourself referring to undergrad students by using the phrase – ‘those Ivies.’

[28] But what defines deliciousness? Taste is tough to explain, isn't it? Let’s take the definition of a Michelin three star chef - First, they take their work very seriously...and constantly perform on the highest level. Second, they aspire to improve their skills. Third is cleanliness. If the restaurant doesn't feel clean, the food isn't going to taste good. The fourth attribute is...Impatience. They are better leaders than collaborators. They're stubborn and insist on having it their way. And, finally...A great chef is passionate.

Now let’s take the actual definition of taste – “The sensation of flavor perceived in the mouth and throat on contact with a substance” or “a person's liking for particular flavors.”

Now these things lead me to surmise that this lack of good tasting food is because everyone has a much more evolved palate than me and l actually like the flavors of food that can be found on campus. As well as, most campus food options would not qualify for a Michelin star. Did I mention expectations management yet?

[29] And all of these banal suggestions have rebuttals grounded in legal or bureaucratic terms

[30] Financed by a fee that you pay when you get to campus includes many services that are probably too trite to discuss here. Most people pay the fee to mostly participate in club leadership positions and receive business cards – which most will never end up using. How arrogant could we get – “here’s my card, just in case you want to give me a job.” Although, they are not bad tools for peer networking

[31] I actually DJ’d with my repetitive collection of retro music a few times. The experience has left me with an anti-appreciation of how annoying people can be when they have their party mode on. Take for example the following statements that are excellent ways to annoy a DJ – Can you put my song on; It’s my friends b’day/anniversary etc. – please play this song for him/her, can you put something on that we can dance to; can you play that songs goes - dam dam..dam dam; can I play via my phone/ipod etc. I will never annoy a DJ again

[32] The Grande Ecole version of partying, is at the same level you would expect it to be for 20 year olds. Take their version of integration weekend. The entire group of 2000+ goes to an undisclosed location, for which they pay a price of 300EUR. The transportation is an overnight train referred to as the couchette in French. However, instead of sleeping in the overnight train, they party the entire night. Although I didn’t personally get to experience the whole thing – anecdotal evidence suggests that it’s - “EPIC”.

[33] One problem with Skype interviews or any form of video interviews is that - instead of focusing on what you’re saying and looking at the interviewer, you end up looking at yourself. This narcissistic reflex is just how most people react. Similar to reflex when you look at yourself as soon as you cross a mirror along the hallway of a building.

[34] The school has study room that you can book for Skype interviews, but there’s two problems – first, the rooms are loud because they are adjacent to other rooms where other groups are likely to be engaged in a heated debate on some arcane topic. Second, the Internet connection can be choppy and unreliable, or as one of the on-campus tech staff once said – ‘It works 7 our of 10 times.’

[35] That bus drivers have to stop by law every 2.5 hours.

[36] And from people in working groups - the school allocates groups in the core classes. You don’t have discretion – which I think is an effective model…xx some faculty members practice the – ‘stay outside if you come late to class model’ – which I think is also important to instate classroom conduct. Another wish I wish people would stop doing is – leaving in the middle of the class to take a personal phone call. Some argue that it’s with potential employers – in which case, I think the whole class is worth skipping.

[37]Similar to many other things that we need to unlearn, which are a function of pop culture and personal bias - That cats will in fact get violent diarrhea if you feed them milk, contrary to the popular image of cats and milk. That everybody’s sneeze sounds different. That a clean room feels better to be in than a dirty room. That the cliché ‘I don’t know who I am’ unfortunately turns out to be more than a cliché. That it is permissible to want. That pretty much everybody masturbates. That the effects of too many cups of coffee are in no way pleasant or intoxicating.

[38] Which was clearly evident in my average academic track record. The curve that is applied to the program is quite effective and when over 90% falls in A’s and B’s, the truly motivated or those gifted at test taking will find it easy to achieve a 3.8+ GPA, while the others will fall somewhere in the middle. I actually received a memo from academics stating that they were concerned that I was struggling with the academic work given my B average

[39] Taking statistics was a good opportunity to revisit some jokes I enjoyed during undergrad. Take for example: http://xkcd.com/552/

[40] Many peers didn’t also take the time to cherish that being in Paris was also an excellent opportunity to walk the same streets that many famous mathematicians and founders of risk, finance and odds as did in Paris. There are three important French personalities who played a significant role in the development of probability theory. First, was Blaise Pascal, an outstanding mathematician whose work on cones at a young age of 16 brought him great praise for his intellectual faculties. The other was Fermat whose work on the theory of numbers (used in development of security algorithms) is by far the most comprehensive work done by an individual. He is more popularly known for his last theorem that mathematicians have struggled to solve it for about 350 years (written in the margin of a notebook labeled as too trivial to pursue).

The third one was Laplace who was considered a protégé of Henri Poincare (buried at cemetery Montparnasse in Paris). Consider Laplace - there was little record of intellectual distinction in his family beyond what was to be expected of the cultivated provincial bourgeoisie and the minor gentry. Not only had he made major contributions to difference equations and differential equations but he had examined applications to mathematical astronomy and to the theory of probability, two major topics which he would work on throughout his life. Although Laplace managed to avoid the fate of some of his colleagues during the Revolution, such as Lavoisier who was guillotined in May 1794 while Laplace was out of Paris, he did have some difficult times. He was consulted, together with Lagrange, over the new calendar for the Revolution. Laplace knew well that the proposed scheme did not really work because the length of the proposed year did not fit with the astronomical data. However he was wise enough not to try to overrule political dogma with scientific facts.

But my personal favorite was a man named Louis Bachelier. He is now recognized internationally as the father of financial mathematics, but this fame, which he so justly deserved, was a long time coming. Seventy-three years before Black and Scholes wrote their famous paper in 1973, Bachelier had derived the price of a call option where the share price movement is modeled by a Wiener process. At the age of 22, Bachelier arrived in Paris at the Sorbonne where he followed the lectures of Paul Appell. Joseph Boussinesq and Henri Poincaré. After some 8 years, in 1900, Bachelier defended his thesis Théorie de la Spéculation before these three men, the favorable report being written by no less a figure than Henri Poincaré, one of the most eminent mathematicians in the world at the time. Bachelier was ahead of his time and his work was not appreciated in his lifetime. In the light of the enormous importance of international derivative exchanges (where the pricing is determined by financial mathematics) the remarkable pioneering work of Bachelier can now be appreciated in its proper context and Bachelier can now be given his proper place. He will always remain a forgotten hero of finance. For a complete account of mathematicians born in France, see here: http://www-history.mcs.st-andrews.ac.uk/Countries/France.html

[41] Considering I studied probably theory most of my senior year in undergrad, it was quite refreshing to take some marketing oriented statistics. However, it’s a pity it is that most students never pursue mathematics and statistics past its introductory levels and therefore know only the dry and brutal problem solving of Calc I or Intro Stats (which is roughly analogous to halting one’s study of poetry at the level of grammar and syntax).

[42] Take for example a discussion on labor economics we had in our economics core class…. prostitution punishment for a buyer, not a supplier

[43] The only exception to this is when you miss the deadline that is early in the year. It could be argued that if the school moved the deadline further down, many other students would be able to find projects as a substitute for classes

[44] Or perhaps it was reference point - bias and many students, unhappy with the core curriculum were shocked at the quality of the elective coursework and the workload

[45] Actually, it’s dark when you leave the military dorms because its 5 am in early April. The breakfast is Spartan as always, but the lunch isn’t so bad. It’s a military ration pack – which I found to be quite delicious. It included canned Salmon, coffee, dessert etc. I tried to ask them where I could buy some for the odd Sunday that I don’t have any food in residence. Unfortunately, the packs are not available to civilians. Entrepreneurship anyone?

[46] Although I had no clue what MBAT meant before actually setting foot on campus; it did not play any role in the decision making process of coming to the HEC program

[47] “Professional tennis always gets called an international sport, but it would be more accurate to call it a multinational sport”. MBAT Tennis along the other lines, is driven by the pure rush of adding more points to the over tally for schools winning the trophy

[48] For the most part, cricket teams will be Indians, some Australians and Brits, except for the odd team from a small business school that comes to MBAT as a SWAT team and participates in every sport. This happened in 2015 as well, where some Dutch school participated in cricket with a few girls, some Chinese origin students and so on

[49] As expected, popularized by American counterparts and well known across the globe

[50] It could be said that most sport events are commercial affairs. Take for example the US Open: Since the 1995 U.S. Open is primarily—unabashedly—about commerce, and since commerce is by its nature uncontainable, it shouldn’t be at all surprising that the most vigorous crepuscular commerce is taking place outside the tournament’s fence and Gate

[51] As asked by the Sasha Cohen character ‘Ali G’. I remember asking the dean this question, but somehow that footage never surfaced

[52] Take for example a detail from page 3 of the rulebook – “To keep the MBAT’s focus on MBA participants and programs, we feel it is important to set a percentage-based rule to control the number of non-MBA participants. For this year’s tournament, a 35% non-MBA participant maximum will be put in place.” In principle, this sounds like fair, because it applies to all participants. However, since some b-schools don’t have an undergrad pool e.g. INSEAD, they don’t have the same competitive advantage as other schools do. Some will make the argument that their program is much bigger etc. etc. I believe argument to be futile, and some will surely show their veracity for the predicaments either side – it’s of no use expanding on here.

[53] Although I did try to be voted in for Finance club – I lost to another group of students, who in honesty, were much more organized for the most part. It’s a possibility that I lost because of my not so nice 60+slide, rapid-fire, five-minute pitch, or because of lack of personal likability – I’ll never know.

[54] I actually studied mathematics, but worked in finance for a large corporation so had covered some of the mandatory ‘hard-skills’ such as finance & accounting through on the job training

[55] But I do favor the approach of some US Ivey league schools where there is no such thing as specialization. It is essentially a game of signaling to the market that we don’t prepare people with specific skills but people with general leadership skills

[56] Take for example the banker I worked with. I remember sending him a set of bland bullet points, which he transformed into beautiful visual aids. Which were significantly more pleasing to the eyes. He told me that sometimes, working on the ‘cosmetics’ is the fun part.

[57] They actually tried to call it the Business Olympics – which the actual sports Olympics committee overruled as a trademark infringement

[58] Usually – if you participate in EMEA based competitions, many US schools don’t make it to them since the cost is usually prohibitive

[59] That being said – one of the most memorable parts of the experience was actually Mexican food that we had a restaurant on 103^rd, close to our budget hotel. Perhaps it was the fact that we hadn’t tasted spiced food in a while, or the fact that the sombrero live band that played ‘la cucaracha’ for us provided for much needed entertainment after a long and tiring flight

[60] There are many competitions actually, that focus on encouraging entrepreneurship. In my opinion, I don’t think some one who doesn’t have a vested interested in building the product or service, or has a prototype will or should ever win this segment. One of the participants actually pitched a machine learning Algorithm at the Odyssey games, and I remember the judge asking them – ‘so you’re pitching an Algorithm which is the value proposition of your company, and you’re not sure if it’s going to work or not’? Lest be said – the team didn’t have a lot to respond to this. I’m sure Elon musk types are probably arguing – so what. They will build it – but you know what – it’s hard to believe a tech company that hasn’t built their tech yet.

[61] We actually got mentioned on Forbes magazine for our pitch along other schools – which by itself made the trip worth it

[62] It was unfortunate that none of us on the team wanted to work in Luxury or wine & spirits. The competition was was an excellent opportunity to network with the president of Champagne brands under LVMH – who swooned on hearing that HEC was participating (a typical French person elitist reaction). When I found myself asking the brand presidents wife – so where do you manufacture champagne – it eventually led to the embarrassing correction that the word produce is used in conjunction with champagne – instead of manufacture which usurped her prerogative by implying that champagne was even remotely comparable to a low level industrial product like a cog

[63] Which actually is an understandable problem. In no day or dream can I imagine two men drinking champagne from flutes over a power lunch. Neither do I imagine PE titans or dealmakers sipping some over multi-billion-dollar deal negotiations that run well into the AM.

[64] Take for example HKUST that came prepared with a five-minute presentation but over one hundred appendices.

[65] At which point, I decided that the discussion would prove to be futile, and found a way to end the discussion in the next 5 minutes

[66] Even if the person had an MBA from other US or European schools – it was still better than someone who didn’t have one. This effect could have been explained by two things – partially because the person could empathize with you, or just had an idea what the an MBA actually is for

[67] I was pleasantly impressed by the strength of the alumni network. Take for instance, the gentleman who I messaged at a large F500 corporation, who graduated over 15 years ago. He readily took my call, and connected me to some people along the way.

[68] It’s not the rankings today – but the rankings tomorrow that really matter

[69] Tinder blast: a reckless succession of right swipes intended as a shotgun approach to finding the evening’s tinder dates. A tinder blast usually results in a night of bad decisions and a morning of blocking undesirables.

[70] "Fresh-off-the-boat" or "FOB" is mostly used to describe people who are of foreign decent and have (1) migrated to North America recently; (2) have strong foreign accents; (3) demonstrate behaviors that are not American enough. Whether or not it’s a racial slur is open to debate. Asian Americans use regularly to put down each other, in part to exploit the illusion of prestige that apparently comes with having become Americanized before someone else did. As always, I will stick to the belief that – offence isn’t given, but taken.

[71] In 2014, many people came onboard to podcasting as an entertainment platform. The main reason for this was the WBZ Radio Chicago spinoff ‘Serial’, but I was a heavy podcast content consumer for years before the platform hit mainstream. The most significant advantage of podcasts is that you can listen to them on a driving commute (not a bad suggestion for people taking the 401 everyday in Canada) or for those days when you’re just too tired to read or stare at a screen

[72] Although popular in the Netherlands, the default choice for most Europeans still tends to be Nutella. This is hard to digest because of peanut butters is so ubiquitous in North America – which it’s hard to find someone who doesn’t know about it. We can attribute this American-ness of PB to three men:

The first one is Dr. John Harvey Kellogg. He ran a highly respected Michigan sanitarium in the late 19th century. He had a lot of theories about nutrition and health, some of which have been proven correct by modern medicine and others that are considered really strange today. He was very well known in his time, treated many wealthy/powerful people, and his ideas were quite influential in American culture. He believed nuts were extremely healthy, and patented a process for making peanut butter out of steamed peanuts. The second was George Washington Carver, who encouraged southern famers to grow peanuts when the boll weevil devastated cotton production in the south at the turn of the century. Carver invented hundreds of uses for it. Many southern farmers turned to growing peanuts, which created a glut in the market.

The third one was George Bayle, a St. Louis businessman who began selling peanut butter as a snack food around this time. He sold tons of it during the 1904 St. Louis World's fair; it was such a hit that Heinz began selling it nationally soon after. For a more complete account read: http://www.amazon.com/Creamy-Crunchy-All-American-Traditions-Perspectives/dp/0231162324

[73] However the same joke doesn’t carry forward to Korean. Instead, the phrase ‘Oppa can be used’, which, means older male – but has flirtatious connotations.

[74] But there are many open for debate here. Though sheep are famously low-key, turns out that they are gregarious creatures. Some google research shows that it’s unfair to ask them to work solo and get depressed if not kept in groups. The animals also need to be watered, receive mineral supplements, get sheared, have their hooves trimmed, get treated for worms and ticks, etc. Then there's the issue of grass length management. Perhaps there are some that are actually concerned that the sheep might put them out of a job – let’s face, they work 24x7, no unions and no breaks.

[75] While ADD/ADHD is actually very over-diagnosed, it’s usually included in pathology. What is pathology really? I would say that it's a divergence from the norm that negatively affects your ability to thrive in whatever environment you live in. ADHD is a real condition that is not socially constructed, but we call it a disorder because it negatively affects your ability to thrive in our particular society. If it were not a disadvantage, then no, I don't believe it would be labeled as a disease or a disorder. See for example high intelligence giftedness, which is similar in that it's a condition that affects how your brain works, but is not normally considered a disease because the effects of high intelligence are largely advantageous in modern society. Thus, social context matters in such situations.

[76] For examples, see here: http://mentalfloss.com/article/23757/10-venn-and-not-quite-venn-diagrams

[77] People familiar with the pasta boxes from the vending machines are well acquainted with this axiom. Since grocery stores close at 1pm on Sundays, this tends to be the default choice for many on campus.

[78] Tim Urban’s work on 7 Ways To Be Insufferable On Facebook explains this extremely well. See here: http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/07/7-ways-to-be-insufferable-on-facebook.html. And since some are still in denial, just to clarify - acknowledging a humble brag using a #humblebrag is still being insufferable

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